Incredible interest in the difficult conversation

“In any kind of job, communication and conversational skills are vital for both employee and employer. But we don’t really talk about it. It’s a bit taboo because it’s considered so personal. I think that’s why there’s such an incredibly strong interest in this topic among our clients,” says Kredinor’s head of debt collection Ole Marius Thorstensen.

He thinks the solutions-oriented part of the debt collection business does not get enough attention or recognition. After more than 37 years in the debt collection business, he knows that you have to work hard to devise workable solutions.

Thorstensen emphasises that debt collection is about finding solutions for people who are in a difficult situation, but who must nevertheless pay what they owe.

“I don’t think people quite realise how many difficult conversations my staff get through. Every single working day, one or other of them receives serious threats when talking to end customers. But with the help of good conversational communication, we manage to resolve the vast majority of cases. Some people think the solution to everything is digitalisation. But we can’t digitalise ourselves out of the conversations that result in payment,” says Thorstensen.

He knows a lot about conducting difficult conversations and  fervent about the use of communication in the debt collection process.

“We have to adopt a completely different mindset when it comes to difficult conversations. Achieving a good conversation with someone who has absolutely no wish to talk to you is an art and can provide a huge sense of accomplishment. We must also start acknowledging how difficult good conversational communication actually is. Many managers fail to do so,” he points out.

Thorstensen uses the example of everyday conversations with his wife to show the huge difference between a conversation and an exchange of information.

“You want to talk to your wife about something that is irritating you, but you’re taken completely by surprise when she counterattacks, and you get a whole load of things about you that irritate her thrown back in your face. It didn’t go the way you’d imagined at all. A conversation is not a rational exchange of information. It’s much, much more difficult,” says Thorstensen.

He thinks many lessons from our role as parents can also be transferred to conversations with customers. The key is not to be too indulgent.

“Conversations with your children are among the most difficult you will have. You must balance between being strict, fair and empathetic. The same applies to some job-related conversations, too. If you are too indulgent and weak with the person you’re talking to, you’ll end up with an outcome that is harmful to both the customer and your assignment. The same is true regardless of whether you are working with debt collection, sales or service,” says Thorstensen.

You must tackle what irritates you most

Per Henrik Stenstrøm is a journalist, author, consultant and public speaker, and will share his advice with Kredinor’s members and clients. His talk is entitled ‘Good telephone dialogues with challenging customers and others who can’t pay’.

“It’s about understanding people who are completely different from you. The most important thing to remember if you want to be good at dealing with challenging customers is: Don’t take it personally! Look past the crap being thrown at you. You must understand the kind of person you are talking to and respond in a way that truly connects with them,” says Stenstrøm.

He believes much of the answer lies in the fact that most of us think we are the normal ones, while everyone else is an idiot.

“We have a tendency to think that everything would be much better in this workplace if everyone were just like me. But that’s not the way it is. In difficult conversations, you must also open up and find common ground. That will get you far even with extremely challenging customers,” says Stenstrøm.

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